This morning everything failed. Work I had depended on broke down and faded away. If anything can make you mad in one moment it’s the thought of not making enough to survive. I cried. And then in true warrior fashion I wiped myself off and got up again. This is going to sound weird but my spirit has gotten prettier. You can tell in the photographs I’m taking. It’s changing. I’m changing.
This morning the energy was thick with negativity, even time seemed to be in a warp. I talk a lot about time don’t I? I seem to notice it a lot. Perhaps it’s because I rarely sleep and so I notice small changes, gaps in time, and movement.
I connected to my piece again. In the wee hours of the morning in between glazes I connected and this morning as I put it into the frame I understood that the magic had indeed gone into it.
“Can I share with you that I hopped my first train since I was a child today and it felt amazing. During my hour or so boxcar ride I slept and I dreamed I was at the foot of the bath tub the same one my departed love went under for the last time. But this time as she lay bleeding and soaking a flower grew from her chest sprouted and bloomed and I felt it was time to move on finally. So you see I awoke ready for new beginning and in a new town, one that will only know my name for a night.” A message to me from Jay Von Zink
Tonight I’m soft again. I took a spiritual bath for the one I am connected with. As I took the petals from the emptying tub they dripped dye into swirls resembling blood. It wasn’t a bad omen, just a reminder that everything was being taken care of. The Baron, Freda, and Dantor would be in charge of this one.
I slept 2 hours.
The dream time has been blank canvas as of late.
Thinking and walking, walking and thinking. I need a lot more alone time than you think I do.
sad, angry, then transitioned into zen. Zen then transformed into snake and then I was witchy.
Conversation with Sheryl. She was doing a wanga to clean & protect myself as well as he who I am connected with. Excerpt from an email:
“OK, so I began preparing your wanga… and Piggy followed me (she likes vodou, especially the guedes, lol) and dropped something on the floor. It was a little heart shaped pink dog treat. I know it sounds weird, but I put it with the rest of what I am preparing for you… it seemed meant. And it’s weird cos she is so greedy she would normally eat all her treats. It’s a good sign I think :) Piggy knows her stuff. You have to remember that she is Baron’s dog.”
There’s a face in this ink blot. Two eyes, long nose and the darker bottom part is his body. He demanded my attention for most of the day, and encouraged a conversations of spirits and animals and dreams.