I was late to Ashley and Joe’s wedding but on time enough to head back to the reception with the crowd. I don’t normally like weddings, they’re filled with tension and posed photos, but I loved Ashley and Joe’s. They got married on the boardwalk by the Wonder Wheel and took photos sharing hotdogs by Nathan’s. We took the subway back to the city to Housing Works for the reception. There was one toast, one dance, and a cake made entirely of cheese.
But for the entire night there was a pang in my chest. My communications with people have been forced and not flowing. There’s been tension between me and a good friend, something I’m not sure the Venus Rx is bringing on or if it’s always been there. But I had an unsettling feeling it was over. I let it get to me but didn’t show it except for the longtime friends next to me.
I spoke in the last entry how I wasn’t feeling romantic relationships and this is still true but there’s something intensely terrifying about losing a friend. And then it hit me. You are at a wedding with friends you haven’t seen in ages. You can worry about this later. And the reception let me tell you was amazing. Think Coney Island postcards, rock candy, and walls and walls of books, and I know I mentioned the cake made of cheese wheels.
On the way home I stopped into a cafe for some coffee. The barista seemed a little upset so I asked him how he was doing. Some women at the cafe had been rude to him about internet service and when he offered to look at the computer, they told him he couldn’t so anything that they hadn’t already tried. “Actually I’m a computer geek.” He told me. “I probably could have fixed it but they don’t want it. So whatever, I’m out of here soon anyway.” I told him I was sorry for their behavior. It’s never fun to be the recipient of another’s bad mood and I hoped his weekend was good. “You know what? This one’s on the house. Let’s get the good energy flowing again.”
This Venus Rx is teaching me about people, how to treat them as well as myself.
1.) Confession - It’s very easy for me to hold onto a bad mood and let it grow until there’s an outburst. This time I decided to keep calm. I kept these words of advice from my friend Joanne in mind. “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Will it solve anything?”
2.) Oracle - The interaction with the barista
3.) Body - Walking and dancing. Also I snuck sugar by eating figs. I’m not sorry either.
4.) Sacrifice - No delicious desserts
5.) Relinquish - Not feeding the beast and keeping cool and calm
6.) Inspiration - Conversations throughout the day
7.) Structure - Worked in the studio, came home and blogged